


Another Try

by BarbwireRose



Category: Captain America (2011), The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011)
Genre: Avengers being awesome uncles, Community: norsekink, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mpreg, Steve and Loki being awesome dads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-12
Updated: 2012-06-12
Packaged: 2017-11-07 08:20:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/428898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarbwireRose/pseuds/BarbwireRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Both Loki and Steve never expected to have a family of their own, but a crippling encounter with a villain soon turns into a second chance for them to sort through their issues and finally find happiness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Another Try

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequal to [ Gimme Gimme ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/323600/chapters/521136), and it's also a fill of sorts for a prompt on Norsekink in which someone asked for a Steve/Loki story based off of the pic of Tom holding Mark Ruffalo's son on his shoulders. I apologize right now for the crap that is this fic. I've never written a scene that is strictly dialogue before, but that's the way certain parts of this story came out. Sometimes, I don't even know why I bother to write things. On a side note, the beginning of this was based off of a scene in The Avengers (yes, *that* one), only this time Loki manages to fight back...sort of.

The reasons I’m alone, I know by heart  
But I don’t wanna spend forever in the dark  
I swear next time I’ll hang on for dear life  
If love ever gives me another try  
~Josh Turner with Trisha Yearwood

So this was how he was to meet his end, was it? Clearly the Norns were once again having a laugh at his expense. 

Loki attempted to bat away the large paw that loomed over his prone form, but the motion was a pathetic excuse for a slap, his hand flopping uselessly against the oversized digits of his attacker. He vainly tried to convince himself that it was the indignity of his current position that was causing his blood to paint his cheeks an unbecoming scarlet, but the sharp pains that continued to lance across his abdominal region forced the Trickster to finally let go of the tattered remnants of his pride. Never in his life had Loki pictured himself genuinely begging for anything, but his mouth was open before his brain had the opportunity to seal it shut, slurred words of a broken plea tumbling forth from his crimson-stained lips. 

“Please…p-please…stop. Please, s-stop.” 

When all he received in response was an angry bellow, Loki let his nerveless hand drop down to rest on top of his aching belly – the swell of which he could no longer magically conceal – and the irony of the situation was not lost on him as he watched his assaulter rear back to deliver another crushing blow. While _his_ body could withstand prolonged abuse from a creature such as the Abomination, the fragile one that he carried inside of him could not. 

And so Loki cradled his battered midsection, as if his very hands could somehow prevent his unborn child’s life-force from spilling out onto the cracked floor. 

Between his endeavors at physical combat and his numerous displays of magic, Loki had managed to burn through the majority of his energy reserves, leaving him with little choice but to use his own body as a last means of protection for the life that grew within him.

Being alone and basically defenseless, the situation was far from ideal; however, Loki managed to catch a glimpse of something metallic lying nearby right before his vision became filled with the enraged countenance of the Hulk’s main nemesis. Deciding that he would rather be damned to spend a lifetime in hel than not use his last breath to fight back, Loki reached out and closed a hand around the object's handle, the grooved surface fitting perfectly in his trained palm.

“You should have gone back to your Leader when you had the chance.”

Loki punctuated his angry snarl by jabbing his weapon of opportunity straight through the creature’s left eye socket, a grim smile of satisfaction curling his lips at the subsequent sound of tearing flesh.

“Now let that be a lesson to you,” he whispered tiredly, body sagging in the wake of his sudden loss of adrenaline. 

Loki knew that his tentative hold on consciousness was about to snap; he could already feel his body shutting down in order to preserve the energy that was needed to keep both him and his unborn child alive. The thought of rescue didn’t even cross his mind until he noticed his would-be-killer being tackled by something large and green, the unmistakable figure of his brother’s ally causing a painful bubble of hope to swell within Loki’s chest. 

How fitting is it for Thor and the others to arrive on the scene only to be moments too late, the Trickster mused, ears picking up the not-so-distant rumblings of thunder. He didn’t dare think about how another blue-eyed blond would react to seeing him in such a state, just knowing that the man would eventually stumble across his broken body was enough incentive to propel Loki into the blessed darkness that had been creeping across his vision for the last several minutes. 

By the time Iron Man and Hawkeye arrived on the scene, the tussle between the Hulk and the Abomination had already concluded, their green comrade having secured his foe with several pieces of warped steel. However, it didn’t take long before both men’s gazes landed on the shallow crater across the room and in particular the gauntlet-covered arm that hung over the side, tarnished metal glinting dully amidst the shattered remains of the building’s floor. 

*** 

“Is that who I think it is?”

“If you’re thinking of Thor’s slightly deranged not-brother then yeah, I’d say that you’re right on the money.”

“Hey, Stark?”

“Hm?”

“Shouldn’t he have at least moved by now?”

“Yeah, well, it’s Loki. I’m sure he’ll make himself known when he’s good and ready.” 

“Shouldn’t we at least – you know – check on him, make sure he’s still in one piece?”

“Okay, how about while I’m checking up on Sleeping Beauty, you keep an eye out for his overprotective brother?”

“I’m not so sure that Thor’s the one we need to worry about if Loki’s not okay.”

“All right, sunshine, get up, you’ve got some ex… Oh, shit.”

“What? He’s not dead is he? Please tell me that he’s not dead, because if he is –” 

“Clint, get Steve.”

“Wait a second; if Loki’s hurt then shouldn’t we get Thor first? He’s the only one that –”

“Just find Rogers and drag his red, white, and blue ass over here, dammit! He…he needs to see this.”

***

“Oh my God…”

“Careful, Steve, you might not wanna move him until the medics get here.”

“H-how did this happen? W-what was he even doing here?”

“We’re still trying to figure that out, Cap.”

“By the Nine, Loki…what have you done, brother?”

“I-I don’t know what to do. Thor, you’ve-you’ve seen this kinda thing before, right? What can we do?

“I am afraid that I do not know what to do any more than you do, Captain. The knowledge that I have of my brother’s child bearings do not extend to such…complications.”

“Okay, so...the plan is to stand around with our thumbs up our asses until the medics get here? 

"God, that sounds really bad when you say it out loud, doesn't it?"

“Perhaps I should take my brother to the healers in Asgard –”

“No, Tony’s right, we shouldn’t try and move him until the medics get here. Oh my God, there’s-there’s a lot of blood here, guys. I-I need something to help stop this bleeding!”

“Wait a second; is he bleeding from – down there? How is that even possible?”

“Clint, the guy's capable of shapeshifting into a woman.”

“Yeah, but changing that area specifically…he can-he can do that?”

“I think it’s pretty obvious that he can, Clint, and if we don’t find something to help stem this bleeding –”

“Here, Captain, perhaps my cape can be of some use until a more permanent solution is found.”

“Dammit, this is my fault. I should have never let him leave!”

“Do not blame yourself, Captain. If you had forced him to remain with us, Loki would have resented you for it. My brother does not like to be forced into anything; however, Loki’s wishes are not important right now. If the child does not survive –”

“No, I’m not gonna think like that.”

“But we must be prepared for such an outcome. If the child does not survive, Loki is going to need our support, Captain.”

“Then…then we’ll be there for him, whether he wants us to or not.”

*** 

When Loki awakens, he is met with the sight of white: white ceiling, white walls, white light, even white bedding. The lack of color is most disturbing for one who is as accustomed to it as he. 

Given the unusual surroundings that he found himself in, it took Loki several moments before he detected the presence of another person at his side, which was surprising to say the least when he realized that the other was in fact Thor - the one person he had always been able to sense. Upon seeing the look of raw relief that graced his brother’s uncharacteristically haggard face, Loki unconsciously palmed his now-empty belly, the events prior to his collapse flooding to the forefront of his mind with a crushing intensity. The need to ask about the fate of his child was almost tangible, like a string of words being pulled up from his throat, but before the thread could be yanked free from his lips Loki found himself choking on a sob. 

Even though he longed to know the truth about what had happened to his child, Loki couldn’t bring himself to ask. Thankfully, Thor put him out of his misery before he managed to humiliate himself any further by weeping like some distraught damsel. 

“Your son lives, Loki,” Thor announced happily, broad hand covering the thinner one that Loki kept on his surprisingly tender abdomen. “It…it was not an easy delivery, but the healers of Midgard are more remarkable than we give them credit for, brother…”

Loki watched with vacant eyes as his brother moved to crowd into his personal space, while the customary protest that he would’ve given Thor for being so forward lodged somewhere deep in the bowels of his throat. He could see the blond’s mouth continuing to move, but the rest of Thor’s words went unheard over the deafening roar of his own pulse. 

His child – no, his _son_ had actually survived? 

Thor’s revelation was like an icy fist cruelly squeezing the air from his alveoli, and no matter how hard he strained his lungs, Loki couldn’t seem to catch his breath. The news of his son’s survival was simply too much for his battered body to take in, and Loki found himself drifting back into the warm embrace of unconsciousness, the concerned visage of Thor growing steadily blurrier with each lazy blink of his eyes. 

***

Loki had been dreading this moment ever since his departure from the Avengers mansion nine months ago, the thought of what he would say to Steve once he finally saw the man again hanging like a stone about his neck. According to Thor, the Captain hadn’t taken his leaving very well, and that knowledge – as expected as it was – made Loki’s heart skip a painful beat. 

It wasn’t often that he felt guilty over something he had done to Thor or one of his brother’s comrades; however, there wasn’t a reason he could come up with to explain away his decision to leave that didn’t wind up tasting sour on his tongue. 

Loki eyed the door before him as if it led to the very gates of Niflheim itself rather than the room where his newborn son was housed, the inevitability of having to face the Captain making him freeze in his tracks. He knew that he couldn’t turn away (Thor would simply haul him back), so instead Loki remained rooted in place, futilely attempting to gird himself for the confrontation that lay ahead.

In so many ways, he felt as if he was a condemned man on his way to the gallows as faceless whispers taunted him with cruel questions that were designed to cut him to the quick. 

Would Steve be angry or happy once he saw Loki again? Would the man even want to see him? Would he refuse to let Loki see the child?

It was the thought of being kept away from his own flesh and blood that proved to be the motivation that Loki needed to square his shoulders and push the door open, lithe body sliding into the dimly lit room as silent as a shadow. After all the hel that he had been through on account of this child, Loki would be damned if he let Rogers keep him from seeing his son, even though that notion seemed farfetched to say the least. Loki knew that Steve was far from being the vindictive type, but if what Thor had said was true and the man had changed during his absence…

To his astonishment, Loki discovered that the room was devoid of any persons save for the tiny form in the clear box a few yards away. 

This surprise – while being somewhat pleasant – forced him to rethink his approach, for now he was faced with having to view his newborn child all alone. While Loki had been prepared for such a scenario during his time spent in exile, the reality of it was far more daunting than he had imagined it would be. The incubator that contained his offspring may as well have been at the opposite end of the Bifrost for all the time it took him to reach it, each step feeling as if he were trudging through quicksand. 

Loki was hesitant to use the word ‘scared’ to describe what he was feeling, but he was willing to admit – at least to himself – that he was slightly apprehensive to see the product of his and the Captain’s whirlwind affair. 

Would the child resemble Steve, or would it reflect Loki’s Jotun heritage? Would the babe even be a true ‘babe’ at all? 

Thor hadn’t revealed any information save that the child had lived, and Loki would have liked to have kicked the blond in the teeth for not assuaging his insecurities but rather forcing him to find out the truth for himself. If Rogers had been in the room with him then Loki would have at least had a distraction to focus on, but the Captain was nowhere to be found, leaving the Trickster to bear the brunt of his anxiety all by himself.

The suspicion that this whole setup was a ploy arranged by S.H.I.E.L.D in order to show him who was in control of the situation did not go unchecked in his mind as Loki approached the clear case; however, after one look at the small figure inside he realized that ploy or not he was grateful for this opportunity to see his newest child. In that moment, nothing else mattered except the newborn on the other side of the acrylic surface, not even the fact that he was now indebted to the Avengers. 

For a while, Loki was content to simply stare at the slumbering babe, wide eyes drinking in the sight of the tiny body wrapped in pink skin, but pretty soon the visual wasn’t enough to satisfy him. He needed to be able to touch, to run his fingertips over delicate skin and imprint the feel of his child into his mind. Loki wanted to map out every inch of flesh, prod at every wrinkle of fat, and touch every strand of hair until he was satisfied that his child was indeed as perfect as he appeared.

To Loki’s extreme displeasure, he discovered that the protective enclosure prevented outsiders from having skin-to-skin contact with the occupant of the incubator, the only access points being two port holes that were attached to a pair of rubber gloves. 

To come so close only to be denied the privilege of touching his new son’s skin… It was almost enough to bring tears of frustration to Loki’s eyes. 

“He’s really something, isn’t he?”

Of course – trust Rogers to appear while my guard is down, Loki thought ruefully, spine unconsciously stiffening in response to the unexpected presence at his side. 

“I was not sure what to expect,” Loki confessed quietly. “My children do not have a habit of turning out quite so –”

“Normal?” Steve supplied helpfully, but there was a bitter edge to his voice that Loki had never heard before. “If I didn’t know any better, Loki, I’d say that you sounded a mite disappointed.”

There was no mistaking the harshness of the Captain’s voice that time, and Loki felt as if he’d just been run-through with an icy blade as he slowly turned to capture the other man’s attention. It was obvious that the Steve he was standing next to was not the same man he’d abandoned nearly a year ago, but the full effects of the Captain’s transformation didn’t register with Loki until he took in the sight before him.

Whereas before it had been comprised of gentle curves and pliant skin, Steve’s body now looked to be made up of little more than harsh angles and unforgiving lines, a living skeleton wrapped in brittle parchment. Even with the benefits of the serum, there was no mistaking the slight smudges beneath the blond’s eyes, a tell-tale sign that Steve had not been giving his body the rest that it needed. 

“You see somethin’ you like?”

Loki cringed at the cold look he received once Steve had let him drink in his fill, but instead of snapping back at the man as he was wont to do in similar situations, Loki bit his tongue and returned his attention to the incubator. He would not allow the Captain to goad him into a verbal spar, not now, not when their time could be better spent admiring the product of their combined genetics. 

Steve watched as Loki began to trace idle patterns over the acrylic surface of the incubator’s canopy, and the uncharacteristic calmness that the Trickster was displaying did nothing but grate on his nerves, a harsh reminder of the gaping chasm that remained between them. After all of his talk about not wanting things to go back to the way they were, Loki had chosen to return to his old habits once his heat had cleared up, the Trickster giving no thought to the potential consequences such an action would have on the child he was carrying.

Steve wanted to scream. He wanted to grab the subdued man and throttle him until Loki finally admitted that he was wrong, but instead he found himself grinding his teeth as Loki chose to break the tense silence that had begun to settle over them, silver tongue cutting through the leaden atmosphere with practiced ease.

“You’re angry with me, as you should be, but if it is an apology you seek I am afraid I cannot help you,” the dark-haired man murmured, but the words were spoken so confidently that Steve completely overlooked the slight trembling of Loki’s jaw when the man turned to face him. 

The Trickster couldn’t possibly be serious? After everything that had happened...

“Y-you think that all I want is an _apology_?” Steve nearly gagged on his own incredulity as he took the necessary steps to close the distance between them, his normally vibrant-colored eyes frosting over into a cold and unforgiving shade of cobalt as he fixed the raven-haired man with a puzzled frown. “You left without a word –” 

“I did warn you that I would be leaving once the heat had cleared,” Loki interjected weakly, but the blond cut him off with a disbelieving laugh.

“Yeah, and I guess that makes me an idiot for having thought you might change your mind. All that talk about not wanting things to go back to the way they were…that was just a load of bull, wasn’t it? Tell me somethin’, Loki,” Steve drawled, warm breath ghosting over the dark-haired man’s frozen features, “did you mean anything that you said back then, or was it all just the heat talking?” 

Loki was choking, his throat refusing to relinquish its hold on a particularly violent sob. The fact that Rogers could even think such a thing – let alone say it aloud – spoke volumes about how far the man had come in such a short span of time, and Loki felt something within his chest crack at the sight of the stranger before him. Had he known that his foolish pride would lead to this –

Alas, the Trickster wasn’t given much time to dwell on ‘what could have been’, for Steve had begun to speak again, only this time his tone was more curious than accusing as he inquired after Loki’s involvement with one Samuel Sterns.

“I know you weren’t working with him, so what in the world were you thinking by trying to take on the Abomination with a screwdriver?” 

Ah, now this was a question that he didn’t mind answering.

“I suppose you could say that I was improvising,” Loki replied mildly, lips pulled back in an imitation of a smile. “You see…the good doctor came to me some time ago and asked if I could provide him with a sample of my blood for testing purposes. After I refused – for obvious reasons of course – he attempted to obtain the sample through persuasion, but such tactics only work if you have something of value to offer in return. He had nothing that interested me, so I turned him away yet again. He warned me that the next time he came calling he would employ brute force, but I paid him no mind. Had I known that he would send his henchman so close to the time of…to my time of delivery, I would’ve taken extra precautions to ensure my safety, but I wasn’t…I wasn’t prepared.” 

“For God’s sake, Loki, why didn’t you come to us?!” 

To his surprise, the Trickster found that he had no answer, none that didn’t taste like bile anyway. In the end, it had been his stubborn pride and inability to trust that had kept him away; his two, biggest, character flaws creating a gaping rift between himself and the closest thing he had to a friend. He’d made a grievous error in judgment when he’d chosen to distance himself from the Captain, and the result of Loki’s folly was painted all over Steve’s uniform in large, brown splotches. 

“– could’ve been killed. Loki? Hey, look at me.”

Loki wasn’t aware that he’d zoned out until he felt warm hands guide his face up to meet Steve’s concerned gaze. Whether it was the fine sheen of moisture that he imagined seeing in the Captain’s eyes or the gentle manner in which the man cradled his abraded cheeks, Loki found the dam that he’d placed around his emotions abruptly breaching, the result of which was a furious bout of word vomit.

“I was wrong. I-I realize that now. I was wrong to leave you, but I…I just couldn’t bring myself to trust anyone with a burden like this. I was afraid of what could happen should news of my conception reach the wrong ears, so I concealed the evidence of my condition and ran. I had no idea that keeping up appearances would come at such a costly price, but I saw no other alternative. I know that you and my brother would have more than likely offered me aid, but I am unaccustomed to putting myself in the debt of others.”

“Ha, that’s probably the first thing you’ve said so far that I actually _can_ believe,” Steve laughed, some of the frost in his eyes melting away to trickle down his cheeks. “It’s ironic when you think about it, though. You trusted me enough to help you get through your heat, but you didn’t trust me enough to tell me that you were pregnant. I mean…I know that I’m new to this whole concept of you being able to-to get that way, but it’s not like I would’ve sold you down the river or-or tried to shirk my responsibilities. I may not be perfect, but I think that I deserve at least the benefit of a doubt.”

The blond had hoped that his self-depreciating remark would at least put a flicker of a smile on Loki’s face, but his attempt at brevity only succeeded in making the Trickster avert his eyes, the silent gesture saying much more than Loki’s tongue ever could. 

By the time Steve managed to dislodge the lump that had cropped up in his throat as a result of his suppressing the urge to cry, Loki had backed away from him, the Trickster’s eyes shifting over to stare at the incubator next to them and the tiny figure slumbering away inside. Steve knew that look – it was the one Loki wore right before he did something incredibly dangerous, or in this case stupid. He could see the man’s intentions as clear as day, and it was times like this when Steve was grateful for his predisposition to act before thinking, much like he had done with the grenade back in his basic training days.

Unlike the grenade, however, Loki fought back, the man utilizing what little strength he’d managed to recoup during his healing period to fend off the Captain’s advances. The struggle – while being fast and furious – was also futile, and within a matter of moments the Trickster found himself locked into a secure hold, the blond managing to trap him from behind. 

“Unhand me, you sorry excuse for a man!”

“No, you’re not going anywhere until we get things sorted out,” Steve muttered, but Loki’s blind panic had overwhelmed the Trickster’s senses.

“I will not allow you to take my son from me!” Loki cried out, the blond’s words having gone unheard over the sound of his blood beating a merciless staccato against his eardrums.

“Our son – he’s _our_ son, Loki, and no one’s gonna take him anywhere,” the Captain hissed, voice cracking under the strain of holding back a wave of tears.

The raw emotion that laced Steve’s declaration managed to break through Loki’s defenses and fill the Trickster with a burgeoning sense of hope. That being said, there were still two issues that needed to be addressed before Loki let himself be swayed by the Captain’s earnest words.

“But he is a half-breed; surely your superiors will wish to study him?”

“The doctors have already run their tests, and they said that aside from some minor issues, the baby’s just fine. They wanna keep him in the incubator for a little while longer as a precaution, but you can rest assured that nobody is going to be treating our son like a science experiment.”

“What of Odin? Should the All-Father decide to come and take this child away from me as well, would you stand against him?”

Instead of answering the question verbally, Steve let his right hand trail down the expanse of the raven-haired man’s front until it covered the spot on Loki’s abdomen where the doctors had performed an emergency C-section, the subtle warmth from his palm sinking all the way to the Trickster’s frigid bones. The Captain’s touch was light yet unyielding, and it quelled the numerous objections that danced upon Loki’s tongue. 

“The doctors told me that you would’ve bled out if we hadn’t arrived when we did, and the only reason the baby survived the trauma was because of the unique combination of our DNA. I…I never thought that I’d ever get the chance to have a family, and I sure as hell never asked for something like _this_ …but after what happened yesterday I realized that – I’m glad you came to me. When I think about how close I came to losing the both of you…”

After Loki felt the blond’s sharp intake of breath stutter across the patch of skin just below his ear, he hastily sought out the hand that Steve kept pressed against his sore belly and laced his smooth fingers with the Captain’s calloused ones. 

“For what it’s worth, my choosing you was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I am sorry that my actions led you to believe otherwise,” he croaked, giving the blond’s hand a firm squeeze. “I never…I never imagined that you would want me to stay, so I didn’t. It was never my intention to put our child at risk.”

“Shh, I know you didn’t mean for anything like this to happen, but that’s the problem, Loki. We’ve been given a real gift here, and I don’t wanna squander it and I don’t wanna be left raising this kid on my own all because you decided to go off half-cocked one day.”

Loki felt his throat constrict at the remembrance of his past failures with his other children, silent tears spilling over the rims of his eyes as he continued to watch his newborn son’s peaceful slumber. “I do not wish to squander this gift either, Captain,” he said in a strangled voice, turning his head to fix Steve with a hopeful smile, “and I also do not wish to have our son raised by only one of us. What do you propose we do about this?”

“I say…I say we make a deal that from now on – that little guy in there is our number one priority. We’re not just an Avenger and a supervillain anymore, Loki. We’re parents now, and that…and that baby has to come before everything else we fight for. Deal?”

“D-deal.”

Their pact was sealed with a salty flavored kiss, but after they had drawn away from one another, Loki still felt a hollowness in his chest, Steve’s earlier accusation coming back to prick him behind the eyes. 

“I know that I shall never be what you want me to be, but I just want you to know that – I meant what I said. It wasn’t just the heat talking, and I would like the chance to prove that to you if…if you would allow me to,” the Trickster rasped, a quiet whimper escaping his lips when Steve placed a lingering kiss to his temple. 

“I think we both could use a second chance,” the Captain murmured, pressing his forehead against Loki’s tear-stained cheek. “I’m sorry that I was so harsh with you, but I…I’d like it very much if you would come and stay with me. I’m not asking you to join the Avengers or work for S.H.I.E.L.D. or anything like that – just give the three of us a chance to try and build something together.”

“I would like that more than anything,” Loki sniffed, turning his head to recaptured saline-coated lips. He figured that he could stay like this forever – his mouth melded to Steve’s, not a care in the world – but his perfect bubble of bliss was abruptly popped too soon for his liking. 

“I uh…I know it may seem a bit sudden, but the doctors were haranguing me for a name to put down on the birth certificate. I wanted to wait until you’d had a chance to see the little guy, but –”

“Shh, I think we both could use the distraction,” Loki smiled, halting the blond’s rambling by placing a hand over his mouth. “Our son shall be given a grand name.” 

“But it has to be something that I can pronounce,” Steve chuckled, smile peeking out over the edge of Loki’s fingers.

“Mm, point taken – we can’t very well have you butchering our poor child’s name,” Loki grinned, sliding his hand from Steve’s mouth to the back of the man’s neck and drawing the blond forward for another kiss. 

They had plenty of time to decide on a name, as far as Loki was concerned. Right now, he was focused on allowing their familiar banter and interspersed kisses to knit back together the special bond that he had so carelessly torn asunder. 

***

The Norns were mocking him again – at least that’s what Loki kept telling himself every time he had the opportunity to examine his surroundings. His new life on Midgard was filled with trials and tribulations that he didn’t always understand, and the people of the realm were a constant source of irritation. There was little glory to be had in his new position, and he oftentimes found himself at odds with both his present and former associates. All-in-all, this was far from the life that Loki had imagined for himself, and he sometimes wondered what kept him tethered to it.

“Papa, look!”

Loki turned his head to look across the expanse of the park he was currently sitting in, and his face immediately brightened at the sight of Steve carrying their six-year-old son on his shoulders, the boy brandishing a plastic imitation of his father’s shield.

“What in the world have you got our son wearing?” Loki asked bemusedly, eyes narrowing as he watched the duo approach at a leisurely pace. “This is Stark’s doing, isn’t it?”

Steve shook his head at the expression of disgust that marred Loki’s features, turning the finely sculpted face into an unbecoming pout. 

“You look like you just took a bite out of a lemon,” he chuckled wryly, an action which in turn prompted their son to release a round of boisterous cackles. 

“Your face looks silly, Papa!”

“Yes, well –” Loki cleared his throat in an effort to suppress a laugh of his own and directed his gaze to the unusual footwear that his son was sporting. “I suppose that my face is no less silly looking than those ridiculous shoes,” he grumbled, lips quirking up when the boy kicked his feet in response. 

“They’re called crocs, Papa, and Uncle Tony said they were cool. He said that everybody was wearing them.”

“Oh, he did, did he?” 

Steve winced whenever Loki’s gaze made its way back to him, the man’s arched brow and shadowed smirk having the combined effect of making him feel about two feet tall. 

“Guess we won’t let Tony take him shopping anymore, will we?” the blond grinned shyly, hefting their son off of his shoulders and lowering the boy to the ground next to him. “They really are weird lookin’, aren’t they?” he mouthed over the top of the boy’s head, and this time Loki allowed the laugh that he’d been bottling up to escape his lips.

“Indeed they are,” he chortled into his palm, but his son had already forgotten about the issue of the strange footwear courtesy of one Tony Stark, the boy’s attention having shifted to something even more important: showing Loki his new toy.

“Papa, look what Uncle Clint bought me,” the boy announced excitedly, thrusting his new shield in front of Loki’s face so that his father could get a better view. “It’s not as big and shiny as Dad’s one, but it still works and-and it’s just my size! Can we go play while we wait for Uncle Thor? Please?”

Steve, who had noticed the fine sheen of sweat that was coating Loki’s brow, was about to object when the Trickster gave him a minute shake of the head and heaved himself up from the bench he was sitting on. 

“I don’t see why not,” the dark-haired man smiled, but Steve stopped them in their tracks before their son could lead Loki away.

“Are you sure you’ll be alright? I don’t want you collapsing out here –”

“The heat is only just beginning to manifest itself. I have strength enough for this,” Loki murmured, gently prying Steve’s fingers off of his bicep. 

For a moment, the blond simply stared into the fathomless pools that masqueraded as Loki’s eyes, all the while a mini war raged on inside of him. It was obvious that Loki was determined to conceal his weakness, but Steve knew that if he allowed the man to become a spectacle he would never hear the end of it.

“This is no time for you to be stubborn, Loki. If I so much as see you tug on your collar, your butt is goin’ right back on this here bench,” Steve whispered under his breath, his eyes daring the other man to object to his ultimatum as he raised one of Loki’s overly warm hands to his lips and placed a chaste kiss to the knuckles. 

Although he had no intention of protesting the Captain’s challenge, Loki couldn’t resist baiting the man with some gentle teasing, for the need to have the last word was like a second nature to him. 

“While I appreciate the sentiment, I feel that I must remind you once again that I am not in fact made of chocolate and will therefore not melt at the first sign of a little heat,” Loki drawled, carefully extracting his fingers from the blond’s slackened grasp. 

“Could’ve fooled me,” Steve smirked, and it was only then that the double-entendre of his previous statement dawned on Loki. 

“Oh, shut up, you,” the Trickster retorted, but there was a brilliant flush beginning to stain his cheeks as he stole a quick kiss from the Captain, much to their son’s displeasure.

“Ew, no more kissing, Papa, come on.” 

“Until later, Captain,” Loki stated huskily, giving Steve a sly wink before he playfully shoved the blond backwards and allowed their son to tow him away.

Not wanting to give the Trickster the impression that he was ‘hovering’, Steve remained unobtrusive in his observations of the man as he and Loki took turns carrying their son around the park, and for most of the afternoon all was well. At one point, he managed to snap a picture of their son up on Loki’s shoulders – the Trickster’s smile open and happy as the boy struck a pose with his shield. 

Steve made a mental note to add the photo to the small collection he had going for a future scrapbook, but no sooner had he put the camera away did he notice Loki beginning to sway in place. When the blond managed to capture Loki’s attention, the raven-haired man didn’t even bother to conceal his exhaustion, simply giving Steve a small nod of the head. 

“Okay, Mattie, I think it’s time we let Papa have a rest.”

“But, Daddy –”

“No buts. Now, I want you to take this money and go buy Papa a bottle of water from that stand over there while I take him back to our bench.”

“Is-is Papa gonna be ok?”

“Of course I am, darling. All of this running about has simply tired me.”

“I’ll go get you some water so you can feel better.”

As soon as their son took off for the cart across the way, Loki allowed himself to drop his mask of self-control, his hands clinging to Steve for support as the blond guided him to the bench he’d been sitting on earlier. 

“Thank you for not carrying me,” the Trickster panted, mouth twisting into a grimace at the uncomfortable sensation of his Asgardian leathers sticking to his sweat-soaked skin. “If Thor were here, he would have surely insisted upon treating me like a helpless maiden.”

The blond couldn’t help but snicker at the level of disgust Loki was able to project into a breathless pant, for he highly doubted that such a skill was possible for anyone aside from the Trickster. “Well, anyone who thinks that you could ever be helpless is just deluding himself. Still…it does feel nice to be needed every once in a while.”

“And just what is that supposed to mean? Am I to debase myself as a means of making you and my brother feel needed?” Loki asked curiously, and if the Trickster’s eyes had not already glazed over, Steve was sure that they would have been shooting daggers at him.

“Ya know – sometimes I forget about that chip you still got on your shoulder, but then you go and say somethin’ like that and…”

Steve’s voice trailed off on a heavy sigh once they finally reached their destination, the thought of partaking in an argument with Loki while the man was on the cusp of going into heat not appealing to him in the least. Loki, however, had sensed his discomfort and was therefore unwilling to let the subject simply drop.

“I’ve upset you, haven’t I?”

“Just – just let it go, okay? Mattie’s on his way back over here, and the last thing he needs right now is to see us fighting.”

“But we are not fighting –”

“Then consider this a preemptive measure, all right? Just – just forget I ever said anything.”

But Loki couldn’t forget, and when Thor showed up to take custody of their son ten minutes later, the Trickster allowed his brother to fuss over him with only the barest of protests. 

As difficult as it was to let others see him in such a state, Loki couldn’t deny that it was easier to submit to the extra attention than it was to watch the light of concern wither and die in the two sets of cerulean eyes. For all the fuss he liked to make about not wanting to be coddled, Loki couldn’t imagine a world in which Thor and Steve stopped caring about him altogether – he’d sooner suffer the fires of Muspelheim than have that treasure ripped from his grasp. 

After enduring what felt like an hour – but in reality was only twenty minutes – of Thor’s hovering, Loki was unable to suppress a sigh of relief when his brother finally announced his intention to depart, letting Loki and Steve share one last goodbye with their son before he took the boy away for the duration of Loki’s heat. The Trickster tried not to think about all of the Midgardian nonsense that his son would be exposed to during his stay with his four ‘uncles’, memories of Barton and Stark teaching his son how to pick up girls causing a shiver to shoot up his spine. He supposed that it was a small price to pay for a week of privacy.

Once the two figures were well and truly out of sight, Steve turned to his companion and gave the wheezing Trickster an appreciative once-over, his eyes filled with an affection that had nothing to do with Loki’s current condition. 

“How are you holding up?” he asked quietly, raking a gentle hand through the man’s sweaty locks. Although there had been a steady breeze all afternoon, its effect on Loki had been minimal at best, the cool waft of air doing nothing to lower the man’s ever-rising temperature. 

“I may have to ask you to carry me once we leave here,” Loki chuckled breathlessly, cheeks tinged a rosy pink. 

“And what about that massive ego of yours,” Steve sniggered, gathering the limp form close. Unfortunately, the Trickster was like a human furnace in his arms, and the blond couldn’t help but hiss in discomfort when his exposed skin made contact with Loki’s superheated flesh, the slight distraction causing him to falter in his sardonic retort. “Do ya-do ya think that your pride will be able to endure a blow like that?” 

This time, Loki’s laugh was more subdued, the tinkling sound meant only for the Captain’s ears. “In the next five minutes, my pride will be nonexistent. You should remember better than anyone just how shameless I can be once the heat has taken control.” 

Steve recalled the events that had brought them together and hid his shy smile amongst Loki’s inky tresses. “We’ll just say that you’re taking advantage of me again,” he murmured, pressing an absentminded kiss to Loki’s damp temple. 

“Mm…darling, you say the sweetest things,” Loki hummed, his smirking lips planting a trail of butterfly kisses along the blond’s jaw until they finally connected with the man’s lush mouth. 

The moment that Loki’s lips slanted over his own, Steve expected to have his mouth devoured by the man’s greedy tongue, the Jotun heat having always lent Loki’s kisses a more demanding aspect. He was therefore pleasantly surprised when the Trickster kept things slow, allowing their tongues to twine in a lazy dance rather than plundering his mouth mercilessly. It had been some time since Loki had initiated a kiss like this, but Steve chalked the change of pace up to the Trickster’s unpredictable nature, never suspecting that something deeper could be the cause until they drew apart to catch their breath.

“You know – sometimes I think that this is just an elaborate dream concocted by the Norns and that you and Matthias are nothing more than figments of my imagination,” the Trickster whispered, smile not reaching his eyes. “This life we have together – tis far from the one I had in mind for myself, and I…I sometimes wonder what keeps me here.”

Ah, so Loki’s doubts hadn’t managed to fade after all. Steve had to give the man credit – Loki had done a masterful job of covering up his insecurities, but there were times when the blond would catch him staring off into space, a pained look on his otherwise beautiful face. 

“Do you miss your old life?” 

“Sometimes,” Loki replied truthfully, his smile turning sad but genuine as he rubbed a thumb over Steve’s cheekbone, “but then I see you and Matthias and…and I realize that I wouldn’t trade what we have for all the power in the Nine Realms. Ha, I must sound like a pathetic fool…”

“I don’t think you sound pathetic at all,” Steve remarked, giving the man a soft smile before gently guiding Loki’s head to rest against his shoulder. “It takes a lot of courage to open up your soul like that.” 

“If it is all right with you, I would like to stay here a while longer,” Loki intoned lowly, his cheek practically burning a hole through the cotton of the Captain’s shirt. 

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea. We still have to drive home, remember?” Steve shuddered to think about how he was going to get Loki to stay on his motorcycle for the trip back to their apartment. 

“I know, but I would like to watch the sunset…just for a little while longer.”

Well, they did have an excellent view…and Loki sounded lucid enough, Steve reasoned. “Okay, but when I say it’s time to go –”

“I won’t put up a fight, you have my word,” Loki sighed, and the two lapsed into a comfortable silence – watching as the fiery ball of the sun was slowly swallowed up by the horizon – until the Trickster posed a question that left Steve stumped. “Have you ever thought about having another?”

“Uh…could you be a little more specific, please?” the blond chortled, but his laugh promptly turned into an uneasy cough when he felt Loki guide one of his hands to rest on top of the man’s belly. “Listen, if this is about that letter that Mattie wrote to Santa –”

“So you haven’t thought about it?”

“Well, yeah, I’ve thought about it, but –”

“I wouldn’t mind having another,” Loki interrupted quietly, unconsciously caressing the back of Steve’s hand, “perhaps a boy with your eyes and my hair.” 

“Mm, your looks and my brains,” the blond rumbled, rubbing a lazy circle over the dark-haired man’s abdomen.

Loki laughed at the blond’s tone of false consideration and tilted his head up to press a kiss to Steve’s smiling lips. “Something like that, yes,” he grinned, “and this time I shall remain with you for the duration of the pregnancy. I want to do things right this time around.”

Although Loki’s smile was genuine, the mischievous sparkle that lit his eyes didn’t sit well with Steve. Nothing good ever came from _that_ look.

“Heh, and by do things right you mean…”

“Have you take care of me of course,” Loki shrugged, face a mask of innocence.

“And what exactly does that… Oh, no. You’re not – I mean – you don’t get the cravings and-and the mood swings and all that kinda stuff… Do ya?”

Instead of giving the babbling Captain a direct answer, Loki simply smirked and dove in for another kiss, his clever tongue robbing the man of both his senses and air supply. “You expressed a desire to feel needed. I do hope that hasn’t changed,” he murmured against the blond’s lips, a faint trace of uncertainty leaking into his husky whisper. 

“Mm, I did say that, didn’t I?” Steve sucked in an exaggerated breath and gave Loki a lopsided smile before he hoisted the man up and into his arms, the startled Trickster releasing an involuntary giggle at his display of playfulness. “Of course – putting up with you while you’re all hormonal and stuff isn’t exactly what I had in mind when I said that, but I suppose it’s a small price to pay to keep you out of trouble.”

“You are a true gentleman, Steven Rogers,” Loki crooned, wrapping his arms around the man’s shoulders and tucking his face into the crook of Steve’s neck as the blond started off for the curb where he had parked his motorcycle. “And to think – I almost let you slip right through my fingers.”

“Ha, and now you’re stuck with me,” Steve chuckled under his breath, a wry smile curving his lips when a ray of dying sunlight glinted off of the platinum band that adorned Loki’s left ring finger and caused its emerald accent to sparkle.

“Yes, yes, I am,” Loki mouthed against the blond’s neck, left hand reaching down to entwine with its slightly darker counterpart. “And you, my dear Captain, are likewise stuck with _me_ ,” he purred into a nearby ear, fingers toying with the silver circle that decorated Steve’s ring finger.

Although Steve’s band was accented with a sapphire and Loki’s was accented with an emerald, the rings looked almost identical as pale fingers interlaced with tan in the shadows of the setting sun, the complexities of chaos and order blending together seamlessly under the banner of love.

**Author's Note:**

> The name Matthias is derived from Hebrew and has the meaning: 'gift of God'. Also, I know it was random to have Leader and the Abomination go after Loki, but I figured that Hulk smashing Loki to bits this time around would create some problems within the team so I went with the next closest thing. Lastly, I apologize for the extremely cheesy ending. I don't even...it just popped into my head during my umpteenth revision. *puts bag over head*


End file.
